GULP

Enthusiasm over my coming trip isn't so much fading, as it's slowly being replaced by an onset of near heart stopping panic.
Granted, i knew this would come eventually.
But as word gets out about my departure, and i make the rounds saying my goodbyes... the actual reality of not working here any longer is beginning to set in.
And i think... Holy shit!

People that know me are well aware that i hate my job with the intensity of a thousand suns. But working here has been such a huge chunk of my life for nearly 5 years now.
And here i am pushing away from my desk, standing up, and simply walking the fuck away.

Of course this is the right decision.
My only regret is not having done it sooner.
But still the reality that is my abandoning all of this angst and drama that has been such a ridiculously huge part of my life is creeping up on me. What on earth will i do without it? Sounds fucking insane doesn't it? Nevermind the fear of being... you know. Jobless.

And yes.
Though my heart mostly aches in the absence of wonderful people who had previously escaped this company, i will certainly miss many of those left behind, whom i myself will now be leaving.
Strange that i didn't realize this until i heard myself saying goodbye.